Today my rambling will be on... (Bum Bum Buuuuum) family.

On blood family, mixed family and adopted family. All strong in my heart and the reason I am who I am today. A few key people stick out in my mind when I think about families that shape; My great grandmother, my step father, one of my older sisters, a best friend and a love.

My blood family... where to start with this one. My mother and father were never married. I don't remember much of the first handful of years I was alive on this planet. But the few things I remember were with one parent or the other, never them together. I love my mom with all my heart. She let me grow up wanting to live in a fairytale and for that, I am forever grateful. She gave me the heart I have for love and passion. My father has taught me a lot about dedication and living in the present. I have to thank him for my big dreams. Grandparents and aunts and uncles are all mixed in there... but my great grandmother is one person I will never forget and I am lucky to still have her here with me. She has taught me more about beauty then anyone. Because at the age of 83, she still finds beauty everywhere. I grew up with angels being around her. Baby angels, angels with long curly dark hair and short light hair. She would take time to let me know that each one was made just a certain way and every person on earth was just like her angels, special because they were one of a kind. She would hold me and play with my hair. Dress me up and let me dance around the living room looking like a princess, something I always longed for. Then as I got older she would let me play with her make up, if that meant being a queen or putting myself in disguise because I was an Indian, it didn't matter. She would always wrap me in her arms and tell me how beautiful I was. To this day, sweats or a dress... she does the same thing.
Another part of my blood family, my older sister. She has shown me what love is and is not. I have seen her go through hard times, easy times, fun times and times that could break anyone. But my sister is strong. She stands up for herself and her family. She know that in her past she has had her fair share of mistakes but instead of hiding from them, she faces the complications head on. And with very little fear. I have looked up to her for as long as I can remember. No matter how much she bugged me or teased me, I loved her. And that will never change. She has taught me to stand up for what I love, because sometimes... fighting is the only way to make it to the end of the day. With your swords drawn and fire falling from the sky. She has taught me to never give up.

Oh the mixed family... All the halves and steps. That is pretty much my whole family. But what family isn't these days? My step father, my daddy. He is the only reason I am still sane. The reason I graduated high school. The reason I made it to be 21. There have been so many times in my life where I have been knocked down, with no where to go, to end up at his door asking for help. And he is always there for me. I can't even begin to list the things I have learned from him. But two big ones would be... faith. Not the religion kind, but the kind you have to have in yourself. He showed me how to believe in my dreams and how to watch them grow. He taught me that you need to have faith in others because without someone else, you may miss a big step in life. He also taught me a lot about strength. All different kinds. My heart is strong, my head is strong, my faith is strong and my relationship with myself is strong. He is the reason that I know who I want to be. I love him very much.

This one may be short and sweet... a best friend. Someone who tells you like it is. Doesn't care if they hurt your feelings for a moment. But this best friend is different, because he is the one who showed me how life should be lived... to the fullest. In high school he was the guy with the friends, the girl, the car, the house and the family. The thing he has to back this all up and make things even better for him as the years go by... Jesus. He is the one who taught me about having a relationship with God instead of just following rules. He showed me that living through love gets you a lot more then living in fear. He is an amazing man of God and grows more into the man he is becoming every time I see him.

And last, but not in anyway the least, my love. I met a boy back in high school, someone that I kinda made fun of and giggled about when he was around, but with my friends I would talk about how much I liked him and how cute he was. Two years younger then me, I knew things couldn't work out. So both times he asked me out back then... I turned him down. And what happened about a year ago? I go to a friends birthday party, like I do every summer, and who is there? This boy. So we start hanging out... all the time. If we had any free time, we were together. After a couple months, he had my heart and still does. A year after getting serious and after knowing each other for five years I am still learning about him. And in learning about him, I am learning about me. Things I like and dislike. How I want to live my life. My passions and all my hearts desires. I want to travel. I want to sing. I want to paint and cook and write. And this boy, is with me every step of the way. Pushing me to do better. Holding me when I cry and joining in my joy. He is my other half, my one and only. He is the masculine to my feminine. Opposites to join together in to a harmony of God. (I know... I'm kinda cheesy and girly, but I'm not the one who designed men and women to be like this. It was the big Guy. So give me a break.)

So family. Some of them are born that way, some I have known for so long that they fit into that part of my heart and one I am hoping to start our own little family with someday in the future. Family is something you can't live without. They are people you love and bring together in times of joy and sorrow to lift you and cheer you on. They are the people you can count on through anything. When your world is falling apart or you just want to share a memory. Family means having a deep, never ending love no matter the distance between you.

(P.S. I'm very sorry that I didn't write last night... but I was in Portland supporting a friend from high school who is getting ready to graduate college. She is an amazing and beautiful girl of God. And I was also visiting my family. So I had a lot of time to think with no wifi. I had a great time. God has blessed me with amazing people in my life.)