Sometimes.

Everyday bring something different. Something to help us grow or learn and if we are lucky, both of those things. We need to think of others, also we need to think of ourselves. Sometimes the best thing to do isn't the one you want. It's something that, for the time being, hurts. But in the end, you grow and learn about who you are. The most important thing in this world is love. And loving yourself is part of that.

Most of you know me. You know parts of how I work and what I do. You might have come to the realization that I am not perfect and I struggle in life. One of the big things I am struggling with right now is myself. Who I am, who I want to be and where I am headed. But today we are talking about choices, things that happen for a reason. If it's the original reason we make the choice or if it changes due to influences... the fact is, we do it everyday.

So, I have a relationship problem. Not me and a boy... just me. I love everyone. So much that my brain gets full sometimes. I am always in a relationship because it makes me feel needed and wanted. Just like everyone wants. But I do it for all the wrong reasons. I am at the point where I can't love someone fully... till I love myself. I need to see who I am and like that. Because until that happens, I can't trust anyone. I will always get jealous and nervous. I will be back and forth about everything because I don't really know what I want.

I think the longest I have been single in the last 5 years has been... a couple months? Yep. That sounds about right. And no matter who I am with or how bad I want it to work, it won't. Because I can't let things go. I hold on to my mistakes and I want to be able to fix everything. So right now, I'm going to fix myself. I'm taking a break from relationships and I am going to be a single gal till I feel good about myself. Maybe that will be a month, maybe that will be a year. It doesn't matter to me. I'm going to learn about Chelsea.