Things I am missing.

I am having a hard time with this single mother thing right now. Not because I am struggling with me or Ryder... But because I think of all those amazing little bits I am missing out on.

I will never have those candid home pictures. Of Ry sleeping on my chest, giving him baths or playing in bed. I won't ever have those. I won't have pictures of him curled up watching football with his daddy, him holding hands and trying to walk in big boots.

I understand that I will have other pictures, amazing ones of Ry with people who love him. But those candid ones that I know I won't get are hurting a little today. They remind me of broken promises and lies.

I know I am blessed. I wouldn't change anything about where I am or any of that. Just thinking a little.