Life.

Tonight, the blog will be short. I have a full mind and a full heart. I can't put it all into words and so I'm not even going to try. This will be about friends, family and the need to find myself. I will be honest to the point of embarrassment, I hope.

Here I am. Back at my dads house, at the age of 21. I am here with no job, not a lot of means and not a lot of time to myself. I'm not complaining. I am very grateful that my dad is letting me stay here while I find my feet. And I am very apologetic to my friend that I left behind because of a bad economy. I want nothing but the best for you. You are my best friend. There is just this awkward thing between us because I feel like I owe you so much and you feel like I ditched you. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't hold on to nothing anymore. I hate asking for help and I hate living off of others. I'm sorry I couldn't do more.

I have a hard time holding on and letting go. I don't know when I should do one or do the other. So I do both. Until I am told to do the right thing. I'm having a hard time finding who I want to be and where I want to go right now. I keep changing my mind because I always have someone telling me of a different "better" option that I haven't thought of. So I talk myself out of what I really want to do.

But that's about to change. I have amazing friends in my life right now. An amazing family. All I have to do to get through this is listen to my heart and push forward. Does that mean I'm always going to do the right thing? No. Does it mean that I won't lose anyone along the way? Sadly, no. It means that I will be happy everyday (Or almost everyday) because I am doing what I love to do. So the next few months I am going to work on that. Making myself a better me. In anyway I can.

Yep. Short blog with no point. A lot in my head that I just can't seem to get out.
Till tomorrow I guess. Goodnight.